What are you willing to suffer for?

 This article (see below for link) has been making the rounds on my Facebook news feed. As with any opinion piece, there are solid grounds to agree with the author's POV or disagree with it. But for me, it resonated. And I don't think it would have resonated so well before I was a runner. Because that is immediately what I thought of, what I could relate to in this article.

The author asks us, "what pain are you willing to sustain?" In other words, the critical question in life isn't simply "what do I want?" but rather, "what do I want so much that I'm willing to love the struggle and pain necessary to achieve it?" It's easy for us to want anything and everything, but you can't achieve it without loving the blood, sweat, and tears that come with life's most prized successes. If you really want a lucrative and successful career, you have to love trudging through low-level jobs and putting in long weeks to work your way up to the top. If you really want a beautiful home, you have to love the endless search for the right house in the right location and giving up so much free time for renovations, repairs, and decorating. If you really want a great relationship, you have to love the emotional turmoil, multiple rejections and mixed signals that come with dating.

And if I really want to be a runner?

I have to love shelling out so much of my disposable income on winter running gear and race registrations.

I have to love that feeling about halfway through a run when it literally feels like I just cannot run another step and the energy it takes to push past that feeling (I believe they call this "running on the wall"?).

I have to love the frustration of a bad run and the disappointment of a bad race.

I have to love lining up for a race and instantly being surrounded by people who are naturally faster and much more experienced than I am - every single time.

I have to love the feeling that I ran faster and worked harder than ever before, yet still didn't reach my goal time, or when it feels like I ran a mile and I look down at the GPS to see I've only advanced about .4 miles. 

I have to love trying to squeeze in adequate training between a full-time job and volunteer/social engagements.

And I have to love that no matter how hard I work, how long I stick with it, and how good I get, there will always be someone better than me. There will be strangers who are better than me, there will be close friends who are better than me.

I have to love all this (and more) if I want the runner's high, the exhilaration of finishing a race and learning that I beat my previous time and trounced my expectations, the excitement of signing up for a race, the energy and camaraderie of race days.....and that incredible feeling when I finally have my very first half marathon medal hanging around my neck!

And I do. I do love all of this. I must, because otherwise I would have given up a long time ago. But it's been almost half a year and here I am - still running, still setting goals, still sticking with it. No one is holding my hand or forcing me to get out there, it's all on me, so clearly I must love the pain if I haven't given up yet.

I suggest everyone, runners and non-runners alike, check out the article. I'm sure it will resonate with you in some way if you've ever worked hard and sturggled for something you really want!

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/mark-manson/the-most-important-question_b_4269161.html

The Difference a Run Can Make

Yesterday, I did my weekly long run....after not having run for 7 whole days. Because it was snowing all day yesterday, I was tempted to skip yet another day too! But I pulled myself together and did that run anyway.

For a little perspective on how transformative a good run can be for one's mood and energy levels, I thought I'd write this as a "before" and "after" post. I jotted down some thoughts right before I left for my run, and I jotted down some thoughts when I came back. The difference is remarkable, and I learned a very important lesson in the aftermath.

BEFORE
I'm writing this before I go out to run. I'm all done up in my gear and ready to go. I have not run in 7 days now. All week I have felt sluggish, under the weather, and stressed. When I got home I just couldn't find it in me to do even the simplest runs. I feel terrible and I feel like I failed myself. My laziness won all week long. And no matter how bad I felt about not running, it wasn't enough to overcome my laziness. Today when I woke up and saw it was snowing I thought, great, now I can't go at all cause there is no way I can run in this. This weekend I have slept a lot, sat around the house doing nothing. I felt like doing that today. My legs feel restless due to lack of activity. I don't want to run but I don't want to do anything else either. I feel like a slug. I know it will make me feel better to run and I just kind of said to myself, screw it, I feel like crap anyway so what difference does it make that I'm going to get snowy and messy out there? I hate these days/weeks when I have absolutely no motivation to do the smallest things - do some dishes, throw some laundry in, go for a run. I hate these days when I'm so sick of sitting around doing nothing yet, I can't make myself do anything.

AFTER

My legs are hurting and numb, I am covered in cold wet snow. But I feel like a whole other person. It feels like I just took a metaphorical shower, like the run washed all the dirt and grime of my laziness off me and now I'm all fresh and clean. I feel like I left the house for a run and came back a different person - the lazy, lethargic girl seems years behind me. Ahhh, the runner's high. I have a fresh burst of positive and productive energy. And, most importantly - I beat it. That dark cloud that had been hanging over me all week, rumbling louder each day I put off running- it's gone now. I looked my laziness in the eye and kicked its butt and it felt great.

I realized something in all of this. I think about all the time I've spent lately pumping up for races and wondering what age group place I'll get and whether I can beat so-and-so's time, etc. And I realized that there are more important things than that. A real athlete knows that it's not about beating other people, it's about beating yourself. Not just your time or your personal achievements, but all those parts of you that work against you every day in your pursuit of becoming a better stronger runner: laziness, inertia, excuses. I need to be competitive with myself, with those parts of me, before I can be competitive with others. It's like that saying, you have to love yourself before you can love someone else. Well, a runner needs to challenge herself before she can challenge others.

With that in mind, no more skipping runs for entire weeks for no good reason! I promise to make this week much better. I have to - my next 5K is exactly three weeks away. I have three weeks to get myself in tip top shape to beat my last time of 28:22!!

My New Year's Running Resolution

 Can you believe 2014 is only 28 days away?! Since we're talking about the new year, I thought I'd share this calendar I made for all of my big 2014 races. I can't wait to run through 2014!

But I want to talk about my running resolution for 2014. Ah, New Year's Resolutions. Isn't it strange how even though we all know how futile NYR's are and that we never follow through with them, we can't resist making them year after year anyway? I mean really, how many people do you know that are still actively following through on the resolutions they made on January 1st of this year? (I have actually followed through on a few of mine in the past few years, but that's because they were hyper specific and structured and not just "be nicer" or "work out more". But I digress.)


I think it's a good idea to make a New Year's Resolution for myself that relates specifically to running. I think it's great thing to make a resolution for, since I have so many concrete running goals and objectives this year.

For some, a running resolution might be achievement-based like "medal in a 10K race" or "run a marathon in under 4:30". I think these are good resolutions, but I'm not at the point in my running where I have enough experience to know what a reasonable achievement-based goal is for me. In other words, I'd like to actually run a half-marathon first before I decide what my goal race time is.

More importantly, at this point I think it will be more productive for me to adapt a resolution that helps me develop a pattern of behavior or habit, not just one specific race goal.

So, my New Year's Running Resolution for 2014 is to switch my running from the evening to the morning.

I developed this running resolution after a lot of thinking recently about the struggles I'm having with training and how I can solve them. In an earlier post, I talked about how social obligations in the evening are really hurting my ability to get runs in during the week. I did mention the possibility of switching runs to the morning, but dismissed it because it would make my days too long and it's too hard for me to get up early. I am now reconsidering that stance.

It will make my day longer when I have some event or meeting in the evening. But morning is my only undisturbed time of day. In the evening, even if I don't have something scheduled, things come up. This doesn't happen in the morning.

My half marathon is now 5 months away. That's only about 20 weeks to get from a longest run of 4.5 miles to 13.1, so I really need to make sure training becomes a top priority from here on out. 20 weeks is long enough that I don't need to freak out, but with other races coming up earlier in the year, it is now much more crucial to my success that I am able to train consistently. Since I gave myself so much time to train for the half when I decided I wanted to do it back in August, I've had the luxury of being able to skip some training days during the week and not have it be the end of the world (although I have been faithful to my long run every weekend!). But I'm not going to have that luxury anymore, so I need to make it a priority that I can get enough training in every week. Since I can't always control the evenings, the only way to do that is to move running to the mornings.

This will be very challenging for me. As I've said before, I have a very difficult time getting up in the morning before I absolutely need to. I've tried to get into this habit before and have been unsuccessful every time, so if I want to make this work I'm going to need a good accountability system.

But I am also trying to think of all the benefits I'll reap from this strategy (not just the challenges!). Here are the notable ones:

• I will never have an excuse to miss a day of training
• ...therefore, I will be able to stick to a more consistent schedule
• My body will adapt to running in the morning, which is good since most races are in the morning
• It will give me a boost going into my work day
• There is not as much traffic early in the morning
• The gym is not nearly as crowded in the morning (for when I do cross training)
• I can come home after a long day of work and not worry about getting my run in when all I want to do is relax, or missing it when an errand or something comes up

And that's just a few of the benefits!

Wish me luck, everyone!

Which Marathon Should I Do?

 Ever since I started my running journey I've been debating whether I'm dedicated (and crazy) enough to run a full marathon one day. I've decided that I'm going to go for it. I am going to run a marathon in October of 2014.

Now that I've decided to do a marathon, the question is: which one? A marathon is upping the ante. A marathon is not something that most of us can run very often, so it follows that a runner would be more discriminate in choosing which marathon to run - especially your FIRST ONE!

All the marathons I've heard about sound pretty awesome, but I've narrowed it down to the three choices that are most likely and most sensible.

1) Denver Rock n Roll Marathon, Denver, CO
Sunday, October 19, 2014
Running a marathon in Denver would be cool for so many reasons. I have a personal connection to the city, as I served my year of AmeriCorps NCCC out of Denver. Many of my NCCC friends still live there. I haven't been back since I graduated from NCCC in July of 2011. I've always wanted to visit again but haven't had the chance. What better way to come back with a bang - exactly four years after I started the program - than kicking a marathon's butt? It would be great to see my NCCC friends again and have them there to cheer me on, too.

However, running this marathon would be very impractical for many reasons. First and foremost, it would require more time off from my job to accommodate travel to and from the city, and that travel would also cost a lot of money and interfere with my ability to rest before and after the race. It doesn't make sense to use up so much vacation time and spend so much money when there are marathons here in my neck of the woods that I can run.

Another huge concern is the altitude adjustment. Running a race is hard enough at an altitude I'm comfortable with. Granted, I didn't have much trouble adjusting to the Denver altitude when I started NCCC - but I was living a normal life at that time, not running a marathon. It just doesn't make sense to run my first marathon in an altitude my body isn't used to without adequate time to prepare for it. That could be disastrous.

Denver would be a dream marathon - reliving NCCC memories, seeing old friends, running with beautiful scenery surrounded by mountains. But I just don't think it's realistic.

2) Lakefront Marathon, Milwaukee, WI
Sunday, October 5th, 2014
Logistically, financially and practically, this marathon makes the most sense: it is right here in the Milwaukee area, so I wouldn't need to do any traveling and I wouldn't need any time off work other than the Monday recovery day. It will be a great course, too. But all of my races are in Wisconsin and all but two are here in Milwaukee. Running in Wisconsin is great, but I keep thinking that it would be nice to branch out and go somewhere new for my big marathon. It would amp up the excitement and novelty of the marathon experience.

Clearly, a balance is needed between the urge to go somewhere new and the need to consider practical (and financial) concerns. Which brings me to my final choice:

3) Chicago Marathon, Chicago, IL
Sunday, October 12, 2014
This marathon would require minimal travel, as Chitown is only a stone's throw away from Milwaukee (well, relative to other parts of the country anyway). I have friends from college who live in the area, so hopefully one of them would be gracious enough to host me and I wouldn't have to stay in a hotel that weekend. This also means that I would hopefully get to see a lot of friends and celebrate with them. I've heard the course is really cool and relatively flat, and it would allow me to explore the city in a novel way.

This is a bigger marathon than the Lakefront, so the environment will be less intimate - but I'm not really sure if that is a downside or not. I don't really have enough racing experience to know if I would actually prefer a smaller marathon.

So, it looks like it's really down to the Lakefront Marathon or the Chicago Marathon. I want to make a decision soon, because registration will open for each one in January, and Lakefront's website says this year's marathon sold out by April. Also, I just like registering as early as possible for my races. Peace of mind and all.

Any input from friends would be appreciated, especially if you've run any of these marathons before and can tell me what they're like :-)

Happy running!

Running and Winter = BFFs

Note: this is a dual post that also appears on my Winter Doesn't Have to Suck blog. I didn't start running until this summer, so this is my first winter as a runner. I was nervous about it but I have to say: winter running kinda rocks. Maybe I'm alone in this, but I don't care. Here's how running has made winter really not suck as badly:

1. Sweet Running Gear
Okay, so buying it hurt my wallet. A lot. But honestly, I like my gear - most of it from Under Armour and Target - and it gets me excited to go running. I love the colors and the fleeces and how warm they keep me. Yes, it's more of a hassle than in the summer when I can just fly out the door in shorts and a tank top. But my warm weather workout clothes aren't as fun and I'll actually be kind of sad when it's time to go back to them.

2. Cold Weather Running
Many people hate this. I thought I would. But I actually love it! I never dread going out into the cold if I'm going to be running, because I'm not gonna be cold. Not only do I not have to worry about overheating, but I can actually break a sweat being out in the cold! It's a great balance. And the reverse effect isn't possible during the summer: a run can't offset the hot weather by cooling me down as I run. So, I'm definitely going to enjoy this while it lasts.

3. Winter Races
My first big goal as a runner is the Wisconsin Half Marathon on May 3rd. Since I started running late this past summer, that means by training will really amp up in the dead of winter. Great, I thought, that's when all the 5Ks have stopped so how will I get some race practice in?

But the GLM Winter Race Series has my back. Six 5K & 10K races between October and March - it's perfect! I ran a 5K on November 24th and I'll run one on New Year's Eve (how cool is that?). Then I'll do 10Ks in February and March. I'm so grateful to have found out about this. Now I can get some races under my belt this winter! Not only is this critical to my training, but running races is one of the happiest things I do and these races give me something to look forward to this winter.

I am very thankful for the infusion of winter and running. Winter enhances my running and running makes it so winter doesn't have to suck!

Getting Better: My 2nd 5K Race!!

This Sunday, I ran my 2nd-ever competitive 5K. I ran the "Elf Run," which is the 2nd of 6 races in the GLM Winter Race Series (no, I'm not running all 6. I am running 4 of them; this was my first one).

In the days leading up to Sunday, I started feeling nervous. The high for Sunday was only 24 degrees! It's been a cold November, so it's not like I haven't run in cold weather yet. But never THIS cold! I wondered if it would have an adverse affect on my running that I couldn't forsee.

I was also nervous about how this race would compare to my last one. I did really well in my last 5K and got a much better time than I imagined. So, even though I made sure to not let that get to my head and to keep my expectations in check, it was tempting to just assume that this race would be even better. I keep trying to remember Pablo Coehlo's timeless novel The Alchemist, in which the protagonist at one point receives a warning about "beginner's luck": bascially, that it is an illusion that doesn't last and that he who isn't prepared for the difficulties that follow the initial beginner's luck is doomed to fail and give up. I had to remember that starting out really well doesn't mean all my races will be that way. Still, I really wanted to beat my old time, and I was afraid of feeling the disappointment of a "sophomore slump."

Well, Sunday morning was just as frigid as expected. Although clear and sunny, it was a bitter 19 degrees out. After going to the wrong building (that's what I get for assuming the SUV full of racers in front of us knew where they were going better than my directions did!), we arrived at the Expo center and picked up my sweet race bib and tshirt. I wasn't really nervous as we waited around with the crowds in the expo center, or as I bobbed up and down trying to keep my legs warm with all the other 5K runners who were crowded into the starting chute in the minutes before the race. I just kept reminding myself not to start off too quickly, to harness the energy of all the runners around me but also not to get fazed by them. And then, we were off! Finally!

The course was pretty boring - it just weaved through a corporate park area. Music is allowed in these races, so I took full advantage of that and let my running playlist pump me up. U2's "Where the Streets Have No Name" came on in the middle of my race, which has to be one of the best running songs ever.

I pushed myself HARD for that last mile. They had timers at each mile, and I remember the surge of empowerment I felt as I neared the finish line and saw myself cross it at 20 seconds earlier than my time to beat. I had done it!!

And that was just the gun time. After waiting in the freezing cold line to get my results, I was stunned to see that my net time was 28:22 - a whole minute better than my last 5K time! And that I got a whopping 17th place in my age group - out of 50 people!

Minute by minute, I'm nearing my goal of medaling in one of the GLM Winter Series races. The races in this series give medals to the top 10 finishers of each gender age group, so realistically, this is my best shot to medal in a race that doesn't give medals just for finishing. I didn't expect one at this race, and I doubt I'll be able to medal in the next one - a 5K on New Year's Eve. But my last two races in this series will be 10Ks, not 5Ks, and I really hope to medal in at least one of them. Not as many people run 10Ks so I'm hoping if I stay on top of my training this will increase my chances of medaling in one of them. Fingers crossed!

Anyway, to sum it up: WOO HOO!! It's such a great feeling that my training is paying off and I can see myself improving. I'm slowly getting better, faster, and more competitive. 17/50 is SO not bad!! If only all my days could feel as good as race days :-)

Why I Run

Ah - the classic "why I run" piece. I can honestly say I never thought I'd write one of these. First of all, I didn't even think I had any overarching reason for running. Most of the "why I run" things I read sound like they could be on a Nike commercial or a Pinterest board full of inspirational quotes. I really didn't relate to any of those because I didn't think any of my reasons for running are buried that deep, honestly. I just want to do it, I like the challenge, I like the attainable goals and the regular exercise (and, of course, the runner's high).

But this weekend, it struck me that maybe I do have a deeper reason than bragging rights and stamina improvement - something that's been motivating me all along and I never knew.

This weekend was one of those times when I was thinking about a bunch of things that are stressful at work, and it made me feel like a goldfish in a bowl: all I could think of was escape. Instead of trying to deal with the stress I just started thinking of how I can't wait until I move up in the world and have a job where I don't have to deal with what I do now. Instead of keeping myself in the present, I daydream of the future and start wondering how the heck I'm gonna get there. It was easier when I was in AmeriCorps, or working part-time, or in college, because whenever things got stressful with my job or living situation I could comfort myself with "it's only temporary, I only have X more months and then I can move on and never look back." But now that I have a full-time job and a place in this community, I can't think like that. I'm here, and I'm committed to my job and my life. I can't just check out whenever things get stressful and unpleasant, and I can't escape my adult responsibilities. So instead, I've started to channel that fight-or-flight urge into running. Instead of figuratively trying to run away, well...I do it literally instead.

Running gives me a way to set my sights higher, break down barriers, and continually achieve greater things - even when I feel like I have no clue how to do that in my professional life. All of us feel like our daily stresses get the better of us sometimes, and it's easy to feel like they're the end of the world even if our head tries to tell us they're not. But running isn't like that. There is no run I can't conquer, and I know that. No matter how exhausted I get mid-run, I know that I can push through and keep going and be rewarded at the end with the sweet triumph of getting it done.

So, I guess that's why I run. Running is always there for me whenever my adult life responsibilities have me thinking "I WANT OUT!" In all those goals and all of those workouts, I can channel both the frustration of feeling overwhelmed by adult life stresses, and the desire to burst out of my life and into something better. Whatever's going on at work, it can't touch me when I'm running. In running I can regain the confidence in myself when it feels like everything else is out of control.

That, and it'll be pretty sweet to get some medals.