The Difference a Run Can Make

Yesterday, I did my weekly long run....after not having run for 7 whole days. Because it was snowing all day yesterday, I was tempted to skip yet another day too! But I pulled myself together and did that run anyway.

For a little perspective on how transformative a good run can be for one's mood and energy levels, I thought I'd write this as a "before" and "after" post. I jotted down some thoughts right before I left for my run, and I jotted down some thoughts when I came back. The difference is remarkable, and I learned a very important lesson in the aftermath.

BEFORE
I'm writing this before I go out to run. I'm all done up in my gear and ready to go. I have not run in 7 days now. All week I have felt sluggish, under the weather, and stressed. When I got home I just couldn't find it in me to do even the simplest runs. I feel terrible and I feel like I failed myself. My laziness won all week long. And no matter how bad I felt about not running, it wasn't enough to overcome my laziness. Today when I woke up and saw it was snowing I thought, great, now I can't go at all cause there is no way I can run in this. This weekend I have slept a lot, sat around the house doing nothing. I felt like doing that today. My legs feel restless due to lack of activity. I don't want to run but I don't want to do anything else either. I feel like a slug. I know it will make me feel better to run and I just kind of said to myself, screw it, I feel like crap anyway so what difference does it make that I'm going to get snowy and messy out there? I hate these days/weeks when I have absolutely no motivation to do the smallest things - do some dishes, throw some laundry in, go for a run. I hate these days when I'm so sick of sitting around doing nothing yet, I can't make myself do anything.

AFTER

My legs are hurting and numb, I am covered in cold wet snow. But I feel like a whole other person. It feels like I just took a metaphorical shower, like the run washed all the dirt and grime of my laziness off me and now I'm all fresh and clean. I feel like I left the house for a run and came back a different person - the lazy, lethargic girl seems years behind me. Ahhh, the runner's high. I have a fresh burst of positive and productive energy. And, most importantly - I beat it. That dark cloud that had been hanging over me all week, rumbling louder each day I put off running- it's gone now. I looked my laziness in the eye and kicked its butt and it felt great.

I realized something in all of this. I think about all the time I've spent lately pumping up for races and wondering what age group place I'll get and whether I can beat so-and-so's time, etc. And I realized that there are more important things than that. A real athlete knows that it's not about beating other people, it's about beating yourself. Not just your time or your personal achievements, but all those parts of you that work against you every day in your pursuit of becoming a better stronger runner: laziness, inertia, excuses. I need to be competitive with myself, with those parts of me, before I can be competitive with others. It's like that saying, you have to love yourself before you can love someone else. Well, a runner needs to challenge herself before she can challenge others.

With that in mind, no more skipping runs for entire weeks for no good reason! I promise to make this week much better. I have to - my next 5K is exactly three weeks away. I have three weeks to get myself in tip top shape to beat my last time of 28:22!!