It's been almost 2 months since I last posted here - yikes! I do feel really bad about that, but life has been a little crazy as I try to adjust to being busier with volunteer work and social stuff and taking on new projects.
You'll also note that I've rebranded and renamed the blog. Now that I like running and am setting all these goals for myself, I don't really identify with the "anti-runner" like I used to.
But the important thing is - I HAVE been running still! Don't worry everyone, I did not give up! Quite the opposite: I ran my first "real" 5K on Sunday, October 13th in my hometown of Cedar Rapids, IA. It was a beautiful, chilly day and I stunned myself by running it in 29:38!! I know that that doesn't sound like a competitive time to any other runner out there, but this is huge for me for my first ever timed 5K! I am lucky to get 2.5 miles in 25 minutes on my normal runs, so to finish a 5K in under 30 minutes was incredible!
I've been keeping up with my running since then, but today I want to talk about a big problem I'm having with training and time management. The problem? Well...it's hard. This fall, as I've joined new organizations and taken on more volunteer work, I've had weeks that are so busy I'm lucky if I can squeeze a run in during the work week (I run in the evenings). Last week I only ran ONCE in seven days (I was not pleased with myself!) because I had something going on every evening except Friday and by then I was too burned out.
This is starting to frustrate me. On the one hand, being busy and doing things in the community is important to me. It was a goal of mine to meet new people and become involved in the community instead of sitting at home and staying in my shell, and I've really worked hard and put myself out there to make that happen. But now that it is happening, I'm starting to see that it's no picnic. But the thing is, being this busy means sacrificing running time. And while my social life is important, running is ALSO important to me. And as I get closer to my half in May, it's going to be less acceptable to skip runs during the week. I want to be more focused on my training, but in order to do that I'd have to give up some of my activities, and that's hard for me. So, many weeks I feel like I'm between a rock and a hard place.
So, I'm trying to kick into problem-solver mode to see how I can reconcile these two things that compete for my time and energy. I could cut back on some of my extra curriculars. But the thing is, I already don't do much more than the essentials: meetings, important events, book club every so often. It's just busy right now and hopefully it will die down a bit after the holidays and I can focus more on training in the early months of 2014.
Another option is for me to do my running at a different time, aka, in the morning. This is possible and I often consider it, but it's problematic for a number of reasons. One: I can't get up early. I just can't. I've tried to make myself get up earlier so many times and I can never stick with it. Two: I don't want to give up evening running, because I like it. After a long day of sitting at work, I look forward to that "release" I get from running. It's theraputic and refreshing. Three: The inverse to Reason 2 - I don't like exercising before work. I don't know why, I just don't. When I run or workout, I like to reward myself by knowing that once I get through it, I have free time. Working out before I have to go to work all day just makes the workout feel like a chore instead of something that adds to my day. I just don't like having a great workout only to have to follow it up by sitting at work for 9 hours. Yeah, maybe I haven't given it enough of a chance, but even if I did, that leads into reason Four: it would make my days (and thus, weeks), longer and more tiring. Some weeks I can barely get through as it is, but having a morning workout would mean a run and possibly an event/late meeting all in the same day and just thinking about that makes me exhausted.
So anyway, that's where I'm at. I'll continue to problem-solve about my time management and try, while I'm at it, to be better at updating my blog too. Happy Friday!
Friday, November 15, 2013
Monday, September 30, 2013
Good Run, Bad Run
I feel bad that I haven't written in this blog in a while. It's hard to make the case that "I AM SRS BLOGGR" when I rarely ever write. But, fear not - I have been running, and that's what's most important!
I want to talk about two runs I did this weekend. On Friday after work I did a 20-minute run. The weather was great and as I was into the home stretch, I found myself thinking: something is different this time. This run, it's....it's.....not as hard as usual. In fact, right now, it's not hard at all. Normally by this point in my runs, my legs are tired, I'm running slow, and I'm just trying to get to the end. But I realized that at that moment, I wasn't tired, and I was actually running a little bit faster than normal. Well, hot damn, I thought, I'm making progress! I'm getting better! I can actually feel my runs getting a little bit easier! I'm finally seeing results!
My next run was my "long run" on Sunday morning (okay, to be fair, since I'm so new to running and can't run very far or fast yet, at this point in my training the "long run" isn't really that much longer than my 20 minute runs). I was riding high from that great run on Friday evening. Invigorated by how much easier that run had been than normal, I burst out onto the road on Sunday morning, expecting this run to be just as successful as the Friday night run.
But it wasn't, and I knew it within minutes of starting. Before I even made it out of the neighborhood my legs were tired. The uptick in pace that I felt on Friday evening was not going to be happening today - I was back to running really slow, and even then, I spent most of the run waiting for it to be over. There were times, around that dreaded midway point, where I honestly wondered how I'd get through the last half without stopping. It wasn't a terrible run, and no, I never stopped to walk - but it felt like I'd gone back in time to when I just started training, and all the progress I felt like I'd made was just some sort of illusion. What??
I understand that training is not a perfectly linear progress and that every once in a while, I will have bad days and setbacks. But sometimes I can't help but wonder: is this just a routine setback that happens to all runners, or am I just not going to get better? Maybe I am just not good at this.
And I also wonder, what could I be doing wrong in my training? There's advice everywhere for the best ways to do things, but it's starting to make me feel like I'm on information overload. What to eat, what to wear, when to run, where to run, when to focus on speed and distance, etc etc. There's no possible way I can know what works best for me until I try it out, but I don't want to find a schedule or technique that works well for me only to learn it was actually working against me in my training. Sometimes I'm just like, "arrrggg, I thought running was supposed to be simpler than other forms of exercise??"
When I think about it, there are explanations for why Friday's run was an unexpected success and why Sunday morning's fell flat. When I ran on Friday, it was in the evening, so I had eaten two meals already that day. On Sunday I hadn't eaten anything yet. Also, on Friday, I had that boost of energy from knowing my week was over and I had the whole weekend ahead of me.
I don't know exactly why some runs go well and some don't. But, at the end of the day, I guess all I can do is continue to navigate my training: enjoy those unexpected good runs, and don't get beaten up by the bad ones.
I want to talk about two runs I did this weekend. On Friday after work I did a 20-minute run. The weather was great and as I was into the home stretch, I found myself thinking: something is different this time. This run, it's....it's.....not as hard as usual. In fact, right now, it's not hard at all. Normally by this point in my runs, my legs are tired, I'm running slow, and I'm just trying to get to the end. But I realized that at that moment, I wasn't tired, and I was actually running a little bit faster than normal. Well, hot damn, I thought, I'm making progress! I'm getting better! I can actually feel my runs getting a little bit easier! I'm finally seeing results!
My next run was my "long run" on Sunday morning (okay, to be fair, since I'm so new to running and can't run very far or fast yet, at this point in my training the "long run" isn't really that much longer than my 20 minute runs). I was riding high from that great run on Friday evening. Invigorated by how much easier that run had been than normal, I burst out onto the road on Sunday morning, expecting this run to be just as successful as the Friday night run.
But it wasn't, and I knew it within minutes of starting. Before I even made it out of the neighborhood my legs were tired. The uptick in pace that I felt on Friday evening was not going to be happening today - I was back to running really slow, and even then, I spent most of the run waiting for it to be over. There were times, around that dreaded midway point, where I honestly wondered how I'd get through the last half without stopping. It wasn't a terrible run, and no, I never stopped to walk - but it felt like I'd gone back in time to when I just started training, and all the progress I felt like I'd made was just some sort of illusion. What??
I understand that training is not a perfectly linear progress and that every once in a while, I will have bad days and setbacks. But sometimes I can't help but wonder: is this just a routine setback that happens to all runners, or am I just not going to get better? Maybe I am just not good at this.
And I also wonder, what could I be doing wrong in my training? There's advice everywhere for the best ways to do things, but it's starting to make me feel like I'm on information overload. What to eat, what to wear, when to run, where to run, when to focus on speed and distance, etc etc. There's no possible way I can know what works best for me until I try it out, but I don't want to find a schedule or technique that works well for me only to learn it was actually working against me in my training. Sometimes I'm just like, "arrrggg, I thought running was supposed to be simpler than other forms of exercise??"
When I think about it, there are explanations for why Friday's run was an unexpected success and why Sunday morning's fell flat. When I ran on Friday, it was in the evening, so I had eaten two meals already that day. On Sunday I hadn't eaten anything yet. Also, on Friday, I had that boost of energy from knowing my week was over and I had the whole weekend ahead of me.
I don't know exactly why some runs go well and some don't. But, at the end of the day, I guess all I can do is continue to navigate my training: enjoy those unexpected good runs, and don't get beaten up by the bad ones.
Wednesday, September 11, 2013
The Cleanse
As a former anti-runner, who believed that I just wasn't cut out for running and that it just wasn't the right form of exercise for me, a big part of my journey is shedding those misconceptions by not only learning to enjoy running, but also letting it open doors for me in ways I couldn't have imagined before. You should be seeing many of those on this blog as I continue to immerse myself in running.
One of the things I now love about running is that feeling of the cleanse. Adult life is full of so much clutter - material clutter, mental clutter, emotional clutter, information clutter. Sorting through all of it to find a way to be happy and figure out where you're going is a daunting task for all of us. But when I'm running, I feel a lot of that clutter melt away. I feel like I'm taking a shower and watching the metaphorical dirt pour off of me. Running, to me, is a great way to cut through all of the life clutter and take a short cut to the happier, simpler simpler sense of being I crave every day. The endorphin high can combat all of the noise, all the pressures and influences telling me that the way to happiness is by buying better clothes or spending more time on social media or joining more activities or redecorating my house or going through some other herculean effort to "reinvent" myself. Exercise - especially running, where I have so much to work for and accomplish - makes me realize that I don't need all of that. It makes me see everything so much more clearly.
When I'm running everything comes into focus and I realize that this is the way: making myself healthier and stronger. I may get sweatier, but inside I am cleaner. And I can tell, each time I run, that as long as I keep doing this, other things will fall into place. I'll get healthier, my diet will improve, my life will fall into more of a routine, and I'll be more productive and feel more revitalized. I look forward to my runs because they make everything come into focus and they give me that positive boost that no amount of money, information, or anything else can.
So, this is one of the reasons I've found to stick with running. The first was the sense of accomplishment and working toward a goal; my newest one is this, the sense of being cleansed.
One of the things I now love about running is that feeling of the cleanse. Adult life is full of so much clutter - material clutter, mental clutter, emotional clutter, information clutter. Sorting through all of it to find a way to be happy and figure out where you're going is a daunting task for all of us. But when I'm running, I feel a lot of that clutter melt away. I feel like I'm taking a shower and watching the metaphorical dirt pour off of me. Running, to me, is a great way to cut through all of the life clutter and take a short cut to the happier, simpler simpler sense of being I crave every day. The endorphin high can combat all of the noise, all the pressures and influences telling me that the way to happiness is by buying better clothes or spending more time on social media or joining more activities or redecorating my house or going through some other herculean effort to "reinvent" myself. Exercise - especially running, where I have so much to work for and accomplish - makes me realize that I don't need all of that. It makes me see everything so much more clearly.
When I'm running everything comes into focus and I realize that this is the way: making myself healthier and stronger. I may get sweatier, but inside I am cleaner. And I can tell, each time I run, that as long as I keep doing this, other things will fall into place. I'll get healthier, my diet will improve, my life will fall into more of a routine, and I'll be more productive and feel more revitalized. I look forward to my runs because they make everything come into focus and they give me that positive boost that no amount of money, information, or anything else can.
So, this is one of the reasons I've found to stick with running. The first was the sense of accomplishment and working toward a goal; my newest one is this, the sense of being cleansed.
Tuesday, September 3, 2013
From Point A to Point B
I know this will seem like a long time coming to all of my runner friends, but my run on Saturday was the first time I ever did a "destination run", aka, running from one place to another. Normally my runs are just for X minutes or Y miles, and I'm either running randomly around park trails, or in the future when it's too cold to run outside, running laps on a track, or (please! don't judge!) on the treadmill on the gym.
I never realized how much different the experience is when you're actually running to get to a specific place.
This weekend, the number of miles I wanted to run happened to coincide perfectly with the distance to our neighborhood Farmer's Market, which I wanted to peruse that morning. Great - I could run to the market and kill two birds with one stone!
And, I did it! I didn't run fast but I ran the entire way. I didn't stop to walk. And when I finally got to the park and was rewarded with a stunning view of the morning sun over the lake dotted with sailboats, I was shocked that it was over already. It had seemed like it would be sooo much farther and I was amazed how quickly I got there.
Even though this wasn't my fastest or most intense run, it was the most rewarding so far. It transformed running from something that felt like a chore, a task to be checked off a to-do list, into something empowering. Pretty much everywhere seems too far away to run the whole way there, like a big wall in between what's possible and what I can achieve. But I managed to knock one brick out of the wall and now, for the first time, it seems like I can eventually kick the whole thing down. I knew I could bike to the market, or drive there, or even walk there even though it would take forever. I never imagined I could run the whole way there but now, I know I can.
Running from Point A to Point B is a great way to run. It helps you get those miles in without constantly looking down at your watch/app/whatever, and it gives you a bonus feeling of accomplishment in addition to the one you already get from getting a good run in: I didn't just run, I got myself somewhere.
I never realized how much different the experience is when you're actually running to get to a specific place.
This weekend, the number of miles I wanted to run happened to coincide perfectly with the distance to our neighborhood Farmer's Market, which I wanted to peruse that morning. Great - I could run to the market and kill two birds with one stone!
And, I did it! I didn't run fast but I ran the entire way. I didn't stop to walk. And when I finally got to the park and was rewarded with a stunning view of the morning sun over the lake dotted with sailboats, I was shocked that it was over already. It had seemed like it would be sooo much farther and I was amazed how quickly I got there.
Even though this wasn't my fastest or most intense run, it was the most rewarding so far. It transformed running from something that felt like a chore, a task to be checked off a to-do list, into something empowering. Pretty much everywhere seems too far away to run the whole way there, like a big wall in between what's possible and what I can achieve. But I managed to knock one brick out of the wall and now, for the first time, it seems like I can eventually kick the whole thing down. I knew I could bike to the market, or drive there, or even walk there even though it would take forever. I never imagined I could run the whole way there but now, I know I can.
Running from Point A to Point B is a great way to run. It helps you get those miles in without constantly looking down at your watch/app/whatever, and it gives you a bonus feeling of accomplishment in addition to the one you already get from getting a good run in: I didn't just run, I got myself somewhere.
Tuesday, August 27, 2013
Just some Tuesday Night Tidbits!
Hi friends.
I know it's been a while since I've blogged. I have to admit that August has been pretty sluggish in terms of my running (and, to be fair, it's not just the running that's been sluggish).
Tonight I went for a short easy run even though it's like 90 degrees out. I was taking my cool shower, still feeling those workout endorphins, thinking - this is why people do it. That post-workout feeling of being so refreshed, recharged, alive. It makes me feel so far away from the same person who, on other nights, just comes home and does nothing. Who IS that girl, and why would she ever be lazy when she could go for a run and feel like this?
I know people say it's best to work out in the morning, and I'm sure I'll see why once I start making myself do just that. But, I have to say, I am on Team Evening Workout. I like it a lot. It is the perfect pick-me-up after a long day of sitting in front of a computer screen, which leaves me feeling so drained every day. I'm actually eager to work out a lot of days after leaving the office. A quick workout at the end of the day gives me a burst of energy to be productive for the rest of the evening, and helps me sleep better that night.
Also, I just purchased a little running inspiration! I found out about this Etsy shop called "Running on the Wall," and once I checked it out I fell in love with this:
....and now, a few bucks later, it's on it's way! It's a cute wall decoration AND a great way to save race bibs while keeping them organized. Plus, looking at that empty medal rack every day will just motivate me to go out there and FILL IT! Maybe money can't buy happiness, but it can buy inspiration!
You know how I found out about this shop? Kimmy Gibler from Full House is actually a big runner in real life these days. I was reading her Twitter and she had a pic of this that she has in her own room, brimming with medals and race bibs. Alright, Gibbler!
Well, that's all for now. Just wanted to shoot off an entry since I haven't posted in a while. I hope you all are doing well!
I know it's been a while since I've blogged. I have to admit that August has been pretty sluggish in terms of my running (and, to be fair, it's not just the running that's been sluggish).
Tonight I went for a short easy run even though it's like 90 degrees out. I was taking my cool shower, still feeling those workout endorphins, thinking - this is why people do it. That post-workout feeling of being so refreshed, recharged, alive. It makes me feel so far away from the same person who, on other nights, just comes home and does nothing. Who IS that girl, and why would she ever be lazy when she could go for a run and feel like this?
I know people say it's best to work out in the morning, and I'm sure I'll see why once I start making myself do just that. But, I have to say, I am on Team Evening Workout. I like it a lot. It is the perfect pick-me-up after a long day of sitting in front of a computer screen, which leaves me feeling so drained every day. I'm actually eager to work out a lot of days after leaving the office. A quick workout at the end of the day gives me a burst of energy to be productive for the rest of the evening, and helps me sleep better that night.
Also, I just purchased a little running inspiration! I found out about this Etsy shop called "Running on the Wall," and once I checked it out I fell in love with this:
....and now, a few bucks later, it's on it's way! It's a cute wall decoration AND a great way to save race bibs while keeping them organized. Plus, looking at that empty medal rack every day will just motivate me to go out there and FILL IT! Maybe money can't buy happiness, but it can buy inspiration!
You know how I found out about this shop? Kimmy Gibler from Full House is actually a big runner in real life these days. I was reading her Twitter and she had a pic of this that she has in her own room, brimming with medals and race bibs. Alright, Gibbler!
Well, that's all for now. Just wanted to shoot off an entry since I haven't posted in a while. I hope you all are doing well!
Wednesday, August 14, 2013
My Half Marathon Training Schedule!
With the help of several friends and templates I found on Pinterest, I have finally compiled a skeleton of a training schedule for myself!
The best schedules I found had a good balance of running and other exercise like cardio, strength training, and yoga. It's a lot to take on for someone who is not used to frequent, regimented exercise, but I definitely wanted to include all of these in my training to stay well rounded. But I still wanted to make sure that running was the dominant player in my training, of course.
Also, most of the training schedules I found include different types of running: long runs, slow and steady runs, "tempo" runs, etc. I tried to incorporate as many of these into the schedule as I could.
In the end, there just aren't enough days in the week to cram in everything I'd like to do. I decided that some things I would do every week, and some I would have to alternate between weeks. I also tried to keep the schedule the same for each week.
So, a sample week might look like this:
I am still hashing out the week-by-week schedule; obviously, with my half marathon nine months away, I've got some time. This is actually the big challenge I'm having with compiling a training plan: it's so far away still. No training plan I've come across has catered to a half marathon that's so far in the future. That's why my friend Kelsey's training plan was such a huge help to me: it schedules about 6 months out, which is much closer to the time frame I'm looking at. Most schedules I come across are 12-week plans. So what I've had to do is find a way to "stretch" them out to accommodate my longer training time. My plan is to do this by 1) repeating some weeks verbatim in the beginning of my training - instead of going from 3 to 3.5 miles on my runs, for example, I just stay at 3; and 2) shortening some of my weeks in the beginning, for example, cutting out the yoga class and the easy run from the example above.
Another idea I have is for the earlier weeks to have a heavier focus on the variety exercise like cardio and strength training, and then have these things gradually taper off (but not disappear) so I can focus more on the running.
So, here is what I still need to do:
Thanks so much to everyone who has helped and offered to help so far. It means a lot to me that so many people are supportive of my journey and willing to run it with me, even if only figuratively :-)
If anyone has suggestions for what I should modify about or add to my training plan, PLEASE let me know. I could use all the help I can get!
The best schedules I found had a good balance of running and other exercise like cardio, strength training, and yoga. It's a lot to take on for someone who is not used to frequent, regimented exercise, but I definitely wanted to include all of these in my training to stay well rounded. But I still wanted to make sure that running was the dominant player in my training, of course.
Also, most of the training schedules I found include different types of running: long runs, slow and steady runs, "tempo" runs, etc. I tried to incorporate as many of these into the schedule as I could.
In the end, there just aren't enough days in the week to cram in everything I'd like to do. I decided that some things I would do every week, and some I would have to alternate between weeks. I also tried to keep the schedule the same for each week.
- Monday - Yoga OR easy run
- Tuesday - Easy run OR yoga
- Wednesday - Hills or tempo or sprint/walk running (alternate)
- Thursday - Cardio/strength train OR REST
- Friday - REST OR Cardio/strength train
- Saturday - Long Run
- Sunday - REST
So, a sample week might look like this:
- Monday: Easy run, 3 miles
- Tuesday: Yoga class
- Wednesday: Tempo run, 3 miles
- Thursday: Swimming
- Friday: REST
- Saturday: 6 miles
- Sunday: REST
I am still hashing out the week-by-week schedule; obviously, with my half marathon nine months away, I've got some time. This is actually the big challenge I'm having with compiling a training plan: it's so far away still. No training plan I've come across has catered to a half marathon that's so far in the future. That's why my friend Kelsey's training plan was such a huge help to me: it schedules about 6 months out, which is much closer to the time frame I'm looking at. Most schedules I come across are 12-week plans. So what I've had to do is find a way to "stretch" them out to accommodate my longer training time. My plan is to do this by 1) repeating some weeks verbatim in the beginning of my training - instead of going from 3 to 3.5 miles on my runs, for example, I just stay at 3; and 2) shortening some of my weeks in the beginning, for example, cutting out the yoga class and the easy run from the example above.
Another idea I have is for the earlier weeks to have a heavier focus on the variety exercise like cardio and strength training, and then have these things gradually taper off (but not disappear) so I can focus more on the running.
So, here is what I still need to do:
- Come up with a final schedule
- Figure out what to do for strength training
Thanks so much to everyone who has helped and offered to help so far. It means a lot to me that so many people are supportive of my journey and willing to run it with me, even if only figuratively :-)
If anyone has suggestions for what I should modify about or add to my training plan, PLEASE let me know. I could use all the help I can get!
Monday, August 12, 2013
Overcoming Doubt with Inspiration: Shawn Johnson, Liz Murray, and the power of little epiphanies
Lately, as I've been lacing up for my running, I've felt the excitement and confidence of my new goal being pushed aside by something else: doubt. I just can't picture myself running 13 miles when I can barely huff and puff my way through 3. Is this even physically possible? How will I stick with this? Because the idea of me running that long without stopping seems like science fiction at this point.
I know this sounds really stupid and petty, but I had this secret hope that I could just burst onto the scene and wow everyone with how fast I was and win all these races and stuff. Then I realized how many people I know are runners, and how many of them have been running much longer than I have, and how many of them have already achieved my goals, multiple times, and with better times than I'm likely to get. It made me feel so discouraged. I'm not special, I realized, and there will always be someone I know who is faster than I am. I'm not going to be in the top finishers of the next race I run, or the one after that, or the one after that. I have to remind myself that these people, and the friends I have who are better than me, have been working hard for years, have run many races and only slowly, steadily gotten better. It takes years - lifetimes, even - for elite athletes and other successful people to get to the top. I've been at it for....a month.
I know how ridiculous it sounds that I thought I could just spring up out of nowhere and be better than people who have been doing this for years. And maybe I deserve to be judged for that. But hopefully, before judging, the people reading this will also recall a time in their own lives when they were so excited about a new goal that they momentarily forgot about reality.
As I was cruisin' along through Discouragedville, a moment of clarity suddenly and rudely forced its way to the front of my long line of doubts. I asked myself: what's the worst that could happen? Let's say I try my hardest and I'm still not as good as everyone else, I don't get a good time, I don't "beat" my peers. If those things don't happen, what, at the end of the day, will still be true? Let's see:
I want to share some other examples that give me inspiration in the face of doubt. Hopefully these ladies can inspire you, too, whatever your goals may be.
1. Shawn Johnson
You've probably heard of Shawn, the now-retired American gymnast who won the silver medal in the All-Around at the 2008 Olympics. Like every gymnast, Shawn's lifelong goal was to be the Olympic All-Around champion. In one of the more candid moments of her autobiography, Winning Balance, Shawn describes the exact moment during the competition when, as she waited to begin her final routine, she saw her teammate Nastia Liukin's score flash onto the scoreboard and she realized, in front of millions of people, that the goal she'd worked her entire life for was mathematically impossible. She would not win the gold medal. Of course, it decimated her and all she could feel was frustration and hopelessness: why bother, she thought. But then, in the seconds before her routine began, she pulled herself together as she realized: I'm at the Olympics, representing my country. I can't control my scores, and I can't control the fact that I can no longer win the gold medal. But I can go out there and give the routine of my life and show everyone why I am still the best gymnast in the world. I can't win this gold medal, but I can win the hearts and minds of all the fans watching me right now. And she did. Shawn would go on to win gold in another event, but she says she wouldn't trade her All-Around silver medal for anything. "I won the All-Around in the way that meant the most to me," she said.
Now, I wouldn't even dream of comparing my goal to Shawn's accomplishments. But this moment from her life is a great reminder that I don't have to be the best to do my best. I don't have to win or beat others to show people what I'm made of. People will respect you for working hard, giving it your all, and having a good spirit throughout. There are different ways to win.
2. Liz Murray
Another place I recently found inspiration was the autobiography Breaking Night: My Journey from Homeless to Harvard. The title sums it up pretty well: Liz Murray tells us her story of going from homeless by age 13, to eventually getting a NY Times scholarship and being admitted to the most prestigious school in the world. She notes that when she was interviewing for the scholarship and applying to Harvard, she really had no idea how nervous she ought to be, how hugely significant these endeavors were, or the enormity of the odds against her. In retrospect, Liz says, one of the reasons she was successful in both of these pursuits was that she didn't know what a big deal they were. If she had known how competitive that scholarship was or how unlikely it is to get into Harvard, she would have gotten discouraged and doubtful and talked herself out of the things she was working so hard for.
I, on the other hand, can't go back an unlearn what I know about the larger context of my goals. But I can choose to block all of that out and, like Liz, focus on what actually matters: working for my goals, achieving something for myself, and making myself better.
I still get doubtful and discouraged sometimes. But with the inspiration of Shawn, Liz, my own epiphanies, and the supportive people in my life, I am getting past my insecurities so I can focus on what really matters.
If any of my runner friends are reading this, I'd love to hear from you about how you overcome doubt and where you get inspiration. Pass it on! :)
I know this sounds really stupid and petty, but I had this secret hope that I could just burst onto the scene and wow everyone with how fast I was and win all these races and stuff. Then I realized how many people I know are runners, and how many of them have been running much longer than I have, and how many of them have already achieved my goals, multiple times, and with better times than I'm likely to get. It made me feel so discouraged. I'm not special, I realized, and there will always be someone I know who is faster than I am. I'm not going to be in the top finishers of the next race I run, or the one after that, or the one after that. I have to remind myself that these people, and the friends I have who are better than me, have been working hard for years, have run many races and only slowly, steadily gotten better. It takes years - lifetimes, even - for elite athletes and other successful people to get to the top. I've been at it for....a month.
I know how ridiculous it sounds that I thought I could just spring up out of nowhere and be better than people who have been doing this for years. And maybe I deserve to be judged for that. But hopefully, before judging, the people reading this will also recall a time in their own lives when they were so excited about a new goal that they momentarily forgot about reality.
As I was cruisin' along through Discouragedville, a moment of clarity suddenly and rudely forced its way to the front of my long line of doubts. I asked myself: what's the worst that could happen? Let's say I try my hardest and I'm still not as good as everyone else, I don't get a good time, I don't "beat" my peers. If those things don't happen, what, at the end of the day, will still be true? Let's see:
- I will have accomplished my goal of completing a half-marathon
- I will be in great shape and reaping the benefits of continuous exercise
- I will have accomplished something that many, many people haven't
- I will have proven myself wrong, and will be a better person for it
I want to share some other examples that give me inspiration in the face of doubt. Hopefully these ladies can inspire you, too, whatever your goals may be.
1. Shawn Johnson
You've probably heard of Shawn, the now-retired American gymnast who won the silver medal in the All-Around at the 2008 Olympics. Like every gymnast, Shawn's lifelong goal was to be the Olympic All-Around champion. In one of the more candid moments of her autobiography, Winning Balance, Shawn describes the exact moment during the competition when, as she waited to begin her final routine, she saw her teammate Nastia Liukin's score flash onto the scoreboard and she realized, in front of millions of people, that the goal she'd worked her entire life for was mathematically impossible. She would not win the gold medal. Of course, it decimated her and all she could feel was frustration and hopelessness: why bother, she thought. But then, in the seconds before her routine began, she pulled herself together as she realized: I'm at the Olympics, representing my country. I can't control my scores, and I can't control the fact that I can no longer win the gold medal. But I can go out there and give the routine of my life and show everyone why I am still the best gymnast in the world. I can't win this gold medal, but I can win the hearts and minds of all the fans watching me right now. And she did. Shawn would go on to win gold in another event, but she says she wouldn't trade her All-Around silver medal for anything. "I won the All-Around in the way that meant the most to me," she said.
Now, I wouldn't even dream of comparing my goal to Shawn's accomplishments. But this moment from her life is a great reminder that I don't have to be the best to do my best. I don't have to win or beat others to show people what I'm made of. People will respect you for working hard, giving it your all, and having a good spirit throughout. There are different ways to win.
2. Liz Murray
Another place I recently found inspiration was the autobiography Breaking Night: My Journey from Homeless to Harvard. The title sums it up pretty well: Liz Murray tells us her story of going from homeless by age 13, to eventually getting a NY Times scholarship and being admitted to the most prestigious school in the world. She notes that when she was interviewing for the scholarship and applying to Harvard, she really had no idea how nervous she ought to be, how hugely significant these endeavors were, or the enormity of the odds against her. In retrospect, Liz says, one of the reasons she was successful in both of these pursuits was that she didn't know what a big deal they were. If she had known how competitive that scholarship was or how unlikely it is to get into Harvard, she would have gotten discouraged and doubtful and talked herself out of the things she was working so hard for.
I, on the other hand, can't go back an unlearn what I know about the larger context of my goals. But I can choose to block all of that out and, like Liz, focus on what actually matters: working for my goals, achieving something for myself, and making myself better.
I still get doubtful and discouraged sometimes. But with the inspiration of Shawn, Liz, my own epiphanies, and the supportive people in my life, I am getting past my insecurities so I can focus on what really matters.
If any of my runner friends are reading this, I'd love to hear from you about how you overcome doubt and where you get inspiration. Pass it on! :)
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